To ensure the safety and enjoyment of all expedition attendees, certain rules and laws must be followed. This is all the more important when one considers that these trips are being run with the blessing and support of the National Forest Service. Federal officers and employees of the Forest Service will be dropping by the expeditions to check in and to talk ‘squatch with us, so expect to be observed. Attendees that refuse to follow these simple rules will be asked to leave with no refund, with no exceptions.
Many specific rules and procedures will be dealt with in the private forum, such as how to notify the expedition leader of your intended whereabouts during day trips, or other safety concerns. For now, just know that the most important rules to follow are just common sense.
- Be respectful, be helpful, and have fun. I cannot emphasize these three rules enough. Anything can go wrong in the wilderness, and the people you are with can literally save your life, let alone your property or pride. It pays to be respectful and helpful to the people you’re having fun with. You will be expected to follow these rules to the utmost of your ability at all times.
- No pets of any sort will be allowed to attend an expedition. They can not only be a hindrance to encountering a sasquatch, but can possibly end up being a safety concern. Pets are great companions on camping trips, but this is not an ordinary camping trip.
- No firearms will be allowed in the presence of others. You may not wear them in camp, nor on night walks when other people are nearby. Yes, I know all about the Second Amendment, and I, too, own firearms. I will not bring mine, as there is no need for it. If you insist on bringing one, please keep yours safely locked away in your vehicle and not on your person. You may take a day trip far away from base camp to target shoot, but when near camp or other people, keep it out of sight. The risk is too great of accidentally shooting another person. Sasquatches look an awful lot like people in the dark of night, and the mistake would be too great a risk. I know you’re a responsible gun owner with a concealed carry permit for Oregon and everything, but so am I. No guns. This is not a “kill” trip. You will be safe when in a group, and that’s how we do things.
- For safety reasons, the minimum age for attending these expeditions is 18 years. Under some conditions, and with great amounts of begging and pleading, I might bend this rule for you, but with restrictions. That is an individual matter that will be dealt with on an individual basis. In such cases, the minor must be accompanied by an adult relative.
- Participants should have at least some camping experience. We will be camping in the woods for three nights in fairly primitive locations. This could be quite a shock for those who have only slept in hotel rooms while on vacation. The closest hotel lodging will be at least a 45 minute drive away.
- Participants should be in reasonable physical condition with the ability to walk unassisted on logging roads. Interested parties with more limiting physical challenges are encouraged to consider if this kind of trip is right for them. If in doubt, this is something that can be discussed during the registration process.
- No drugs or alcohol will be allowed on these expeditions. This is a federal requirement made by the forest service under the permit I was granted. I am not willing to lose my permits so you can get buzzed. Please respect this rule.
- I have the final say on most matters while in the woods. I’m not a tyrannical, power-hungry narcissist, nor a control-freak. I just have a lot of experience and have made most of the common mistakes you are apt to make. My past mistakes have given me some insight, and I expect that on my trips, you err to my judgement. Ask any of the repeating participants, this is not a big deal, but I feel it must be said.
- All Federal, State, County, and Municipal Laws and Ordinances will be followed while on National Forest lands. For a complete list of laws set by the Department of Agriculture, click this link.